a reason to be yourself

just wondering...Next pageArchive

They looked at each other, their laughs dying down. He had this piercing look in his eyes, it almost hurt to look into them. But she couldn’t resist, his eyes pulled her in, like they were trying to understand hers.

He moved his face in closer, their gaze never ending. She thought he might kiss her, she felt this numb feeling appear in her chest as her breath became heavy. His face came closer to hers, hers turning away from him in panic.

She wanted to kiss him more than anything but her insides were screaming no. Like she couldn’t control herself, leaving her to feel emotionless. She felt a knot form in her throat while she played with her fingers, ashamed.

She had her eyes closed when she felt a warm hand cup her face. Nervous, she opened her eyes and saw Brett. He was on his knees, kneeling in front of the chair she was curled up in. She tried to avoid his eyes, that were directly on her.

"What happened to you these last few years?" His voice was curious yet sort of comforting. She looked up in his eyes, tears almost forming in hers. She took a deep breath before trying to answer.

"I…."

She couldn’t even finish, it’s like she had lost her voice. Like she was drowning, throat flooded with water.

She closed her lips and broken her gaze once again. Still holding his, she felt like telling him, everything. But she couldn’t, not now. What would he say, would he even say anything? She wouldn’t blame him for leaving, it was something everyone does to you eventually, right? She just didn’t want to risk him walking away, not giving her a chance before knowing who she really was. Did he already know her? She knew these things would one day come and if they kept this up, it would be even harder to tell him but she didn’t want to hurt him, that’s last thing she wanted to do.

All she felt like doing was breaking down. She started to fell a tear travel down her cheek. She bites her lip, trying so hard to hold it in.

She couldn’t hurt him, wouldn’t. She couldn’t keep this up, they would have to end whatever was between them.

She feels comforting hands take hers away from her lap. As their hands entangle, she looked into his addictive brown eyes once again. He could see right through her. Tears were forming in her eyes as he pulled her up into a comforting embrace, where they stayed for a while, close to tears.